Have you ever tried to have absolutely no privacy? Tried to, everywhere you go, you need to bring all of your electronic devices in fear of someone checking your messages.. Pictures.. Conversations? Have you ever tried to unwillingly have to go in to your closet and talk with your lowest voice, to keep a conversation in your own room? -And still one question is on your mind; Is someone listening? If you, for once, talk too loud or forget your phone at home, you could be kicked out of the country?
I have.
In a matter of fact, I'm going through it at this very moment. And I must say, it's not pleasant.
The reality is, I'm not allowed to be in contact with my best friend. I can't call him, I can't text him, I can't see him, all contact is forbitten. I'm seeing my favourite family in secret, and I can not tell the peope I'm living with the truth about where I'm going or I risk the complaining I know they're doing behind my back, which eventually could let to my departure.
I do not find it lovely, I find it quite irritating, and it is a thing I wish I could live without.
It's true what people say by the way. If you tell people they can't do someting, you really do encourage them to break the rules even more.
Why forbid me to see one of the three good friends I have, because you've gotten the wrong idea about it? You realize that also enable me to see one of my other best friends? You might think our relationship is getting too serious, but how can I ensure you, that we're actually just really good friends, if you don't trust me at all? How do I gain your trust? When you live with people your own age for four months and you're not actually siblings, you develop a close relationship and that's not wrong. You should accept it. Let me stay with the few friends I have, instead of making me sit in my room by myself all day, every day.
Privacy is a funny thing. You don't realize how much you need it before you don't have it. It has always been easy to lock yourself away in your own room, but what if your time at home is actually the place you have to be most careful? And also.. The last place you want to be? You feel disdain towards the hours you know you have to spend at home, and you have an unplatable feeling growing in your stomach whenever you know you're going home.
At the same time, you have no way of going out by yourself. You're constantly dependant of people picking you up if you want to leave the house. No where to go by yourself... I've found that it is harder than I thought it would be. I didn't have a problem with it before, but when you have to constantly check your door for listeners and you can't let anyone see who you're texting, you start to miss an actual place to be completely by yourself.
Or at least.. You'd like to have the possibilty of seeing your best friend.
