Burning Secrets..

She desperatly wanted to kill the man. She wasn't nessecarily thinking about a bloody knife murder out in the woods after midnight, but she knew her power, she knew what she was capable of. She was capable of ruining this mans life completely. But did he deserve it? Did he deep down deserve it, or had her anger taken over and blinded her of the truth? No. He definetly deserved it.

    She thought back at their relationship. This man, even though almost 50 years older, had been one of her best friends for months, she asked him for advice and had long talks with him, until it all changed. Until he changed into a ruthless and disgusting creep. She remembered how he'd in the start made sexual jokes about her, jokes right? That wasn't a problem since his two sons were her best friends, he was a joking man and just thought of her as an adult who could take it, or at least she'd thought.
    It escalated.
Their conversations began to turn into uncomfortable subjects, too close and personal for a teenage girl to share with an older man. The massages he wanted to give her, and tried to pull up her top and untie the bra. But he was like a father to her, how could he even start to justify what he did? She didn't tell anyone. She surpressed the hidden feelings and hatred, she closed in and only more layers of sadness and disappointment started to appear. She had no one to talk to. No one to tell it to. She had to stay strong.
   An honest mistake happened. As there were only the two of them home and she was taking a bath, the dog opened the door. The man was still downstairs but had to run errinds, and came up to tell. He walked in on a naked underage girl.. Without a look back. He'd assumed it was okay because of the door, and she's assured him that it was an honest mistake so it was okay. He stayed in the room longer than he should have. Did he see her whole naked body? Or did she succeed to hide the lower parts before his entrance? He did non-the-less, see her tight and blossomed breasts.
  A couple months later, she started seeing a guy. She'd met the best thing that'd ever happened to her and she was unbelievably happy. Except one small detail. She wasn't allowed to date, no one could know about their feelings towards each other, but she told her older friend. She told the man. As a friend would do, he asked about the guy, and she was happy to tell about him, in fact, she loved to. But then came the hard time where she had to hide from four people in the household, where she was going when she left the house. It wasn't her family, they were just.. Stand in's, she didn't have to tell them secrets, she only had two weeks left to see her loved one.
   The man started helping. As the master of the house, he was able to help her and she was gratefull! Until he started asking for her favours. For the "In return" actions. The feeling in her stomach everytime he'd try to manipulate her into thinking that "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" was a justified sentence in the context. But she knew it wasn't, and as the man kept on talking, she'd feel more and more disgusted by his belief that he got her to believe him. He hadn't -She knew exactly what he was trying to.
   Her thoughts fell upon the first time he'd asked to see her breats. After the many serious attempts to put her sunlotion on, he'd asked her to take off her bikini-top in his office, to show him and in return, he'd let her see her guy, her love. It escelated. The man kept on trying, he wanted to see the girl naked, and she knew. She knew way too well.
   One night, she was on skype with her guy. They'd grown closer together than she'd ever tried with anyone before and he was the most caring and loving person she'd ever met. And he loved her just as much. Suddenly a text from the man, he was sitting in the room next door, but decided to text so the rest of the household wouldn't know. The text made it all clear. For her to be able to see her boyfriend again before leaving the country for over a year, she'd have to take her pants off for the man.
   Tears started to roll down her cheeks and he noticed, her loving guy, who was watching her through only a webcam, noticed it. She told him everything. About the sexual comments, massages, walking in on her naked, trying to get her clothe of, and specially the blackmailing and manipulating.
   Next morning the two teens were skyping again, she was supposted to sleep over at his house the same evening, but no one could know and the man would only let her go if she showed herself naked. He knocked her door and asked her to go to his office. She shakingly raised herself from bed and followed the man, dropping her Ipod, the one she was skyping on, down into her chestpocked, still having the mic turned on.
   They went into the office and the man started. He wanted her to take off her pants, actually, she didn't even have to do anything, he'd do it for her, he wanted to see and she recognized an awful glimpse of desire in the man's eyes. He had a desire to strip an under-aged girl, who furthermore was 50 years younger than himself. He kept on going and she begged him to let her go without showing him. She begged. She started crying and was about to give up all hope. Finally after not being able to manipulate her to victory, the older man gave up, he let her go away in tears. Although, her boyfriend heard everything.
     Little did he know, there were two other boys in the same household trying to sexually abuse her.

Long living love.

How can you have everything but still nothing? You've been looking up to the illusion of true fairytale love your whole life and in a temporary moment of happiness you really think you've got it all, untill you again look the real world in the eyes, and re-discovers that your happiness have to end. That doesn't say though, that the love has to end. 

  Well.. How do you know when you've found the great love of your life? You might think that you've found it a number of times before you finally find that one person who actually deserves the title of your better half? As far as I've noticed, it's possible to be fooled for months or even years before you realize that you in fact, do not have the right person by you. So, is it the right person when no one else is on your mind? You dream about the person every night, just to wake up in sadness when you realize the person's not by your side? Is it when you really feel that everything falls in place, you've got no arguments to hold and no anger against each other, no matter what the person does it's completely perfect in your eyes? Maybe it's when you find that person, who's so like yourself that you feel like they'd already know all of your reaction and actions, maybe because they'd have the exact same. 

   We've all got our own special traits and habbits, is it ever possible to find someone who's gotten all the same as you have yourself? Someone has found that person, so it is indeed possible. 

   Then again, you've found the person and everything seems to be perfect, things can actually not get better, at all. Until one of you have to leave the country to live thousands of miles away. Nine timezones away. That is a thing that sucks.

   So what now? You're a teenager, you've got school and work and your parents are still making decisions you can't quite follow, and now, you've also gotten a boyfriend across the globe? How's the travel? Who's gonna come visit who, and how do you convince your parents that you're gonna stay together? How're you gonna convince anyone that you're staying together? Cause if you think about it, who really believes that long distance is possible? I'll tell you, someone has done it, and it is possible, but it's gonna be tough. It's gonna be more than hard and you're gonna sit up for hours waiting or another person to get up or get home only to find out that some other plans got in the way and your waiting has been pointless? How's it possible to keep smiling when both o you slowly get busy and there's less time to talk to each other? Well, commitment and love could be the two keywords, cause if not both of you are 100% completely devoted to it, it's not gonna happen. 

   Then, there'll be that one day, after years of being seperated, there'll be that one day when you finally move in together and everything will be perfect again, cause you'll once again be with each other. That's a day I'm waiting for.