What do you do, when you don't know what to do? Even though I'm just in 11th grade and have two more years to go, I can't help but wonder what I'm going to do for the rest of my life? And I'm worrying about it. Though I know, not every 17 year old knows what said person wants do when they get older, but most people do have a general idea of some sort. I don't. There is absolutely nothing that sounds appealing to me, nothing I would wanna spend every day doing. Well, a few things does sound interesting, but I know that I do not in any way have the creativity or patience to do it, I don't know enough stuff and the learning process doesn't appeal to me.
The problem is, I'm straight up lazy. Now, I know that's a commen teenage thing to say, "I can't do anything, I'm the laziest person ever" well I don't mean it like that. If I want to, I can get up and going with stuff, I can go to the fitness center, leave the couch when I want, I don't need food all the time. Normal lazy behaviour is not the problem. But the thought of having to learn stuff and remember it, being able to solve things just from your knowledge in a specific area, I would never be able to do that. Getting the right 'training' for a job, the process would kill me.
I'm in the Danish gymnasium now because well.. I didn't know what to do. Technical school is not looked at as the greatest thing, you might not be able to get a job or that internship you need because there isn't enough business, so.. You go to gymnasium (Somewhere between High School and College). Then, which studyline do you pick? Well take me for an exampple, of course you just take the one that matches your interests. In middle school I liked Math, Biology and Chemistry, so obviously, I picked Biotechnology (Biology+Chemistry). I absolutely love the thought of being a mathematic genious and knowing all about my chemistry and biology, the thought is amazing. But, it makes me sick to learn it. I'm not a person who remembers every word the teacher says, I can't take notes and I don't have concentracion when it comes to school. No ambition in exams. I don't worry about my testscores, quizzes, no worries at all. Which of course isn't good for the motivation.
I do have hobbies though. I like to draw, I don't have the creativity to come up with something to draw and I don't have the motivation to start on a new drawing. I like to write stories, but to make up a complete story, that would be too much effort. I like the guitar, I suck at playing it because I'm too lazy to start it again. Combined with other interests, the perfect job for me would be to write and draw at the same time.. Don't have enough talent in either category.
My only real ambition is to travel, but what good is that if I have no job and therefore no money. I'd love to be able to photograph, I'm not a good photographer, my pictures doesn't have a hidden meaning of life behind it's surface, they're just pictures everyone could have taken.
But I'm sick of school. The thought of having to spend three more years in school and then university, crushes me. Absolutely. I'm already getting depressed by the thought, and generally, I'm optimistic. But all of those years I have to sit in school, do homework and turn in assignments.. It's killing me.
