Superfluous thoughts on friendzoning..

I've never understood relationships. I mean, I see cute couples all over the place; In school, all the

hallways filled with couples eager enough after seeing each other that they can't waist a single minute, In town, when they go on dates, sitting around looking at each other with gloomy eyes sharing that one milkshake, everywhere I see couples with a frenetic love for each other, and I can't help but think.. How do they do it?

      I myself is in a bad state of easy romance, way too quick I fall in love with that hot guy I met a couple days ago or my brothers cute friend or that clever guy in chemistry class. Either way I end up in a constant mess of dubious thoughts created to pull myself down and create every possible scenario of how bad things could go and how much he hates me, cause I guarangtee you, he definetly hates me. Every aspect of my crushes has become my biggest interest and I evolve some kind of stalkerish state where I as far as possible watch his every move; I constantly try to find him in school, over and over I refresh his facebook page and if some girl adds an innocent comment on an old photo I creep down in my little hole and feel the squalor taking over me, cause that random girl, he possibly haven't talked with for a year, is definetly a threat to me and my imaginary relationship with him.

Or at least.. That's what I feel when I get a crush on someone.

    On the other side, I've now tried something fairly different. I've knowingly been the person on the other side. I felt bad about it but Hey, I liked another guy, that wasn't my fault. Cause why do we fall in love with specific people? Why can't we just choose, "Hey I want to fall in love with you, could you do the same with me?", wouldn't that be much easier? As soon as you've gotten caught up in your own feelings, everything else seems meaningless and you'd rather spend all your time with that one person than anything else. But if you're already in the friendzone, what do you do? We all know that when you cross that final line for the friendzone, which you might have the first time your crush saw you, maybe when you guys started talking, or maybe just the other day when you guys hung out, when you cross that final line, it's not possible to get back, we all know that. But maybe, if you're the right person and you keep up fighting instead of giving up..

Could it be possible to take a step back to the other side?

It is possible.

       It is possible indeed. I'm a living proof for that, but if you want to go back, you'll have to know what you're getting yourself into cause you might not be able to cross the line a third time, so think about it. Are you willing to start something? Or would you get tired as soon as you stripped the person down? You'll have to keep interest.

     
My point here is, I had a guy friendzoned. Not just friendzoned, brozoned. Not that he was my actual brother, but he was my hostbrother for three months which means that I lived with him for three months, and that first day I saw him two months before I was going to move in, he was definetly in the friendzone. He'd already crossed the line for that the first time I ever layd eyes on him. I simply wasn't attracted to him, that's it. It is very hard to have a romantic relationship to someone you don't even find attractive. Something about that person should attract you; look, interests, personality, dreams, something. But nothing did. 

      We became great friends and I moved in with them after the two months and everything was perfect. The two brothers in the house, both my age, became two of my best friends and even though I had a massive crush on one of their best friends, it all worked out. Perfectly. Until the day one guy began to look at me as more than a sister. When I look back I believe he might've always thought of me in a different way, after all he's not the type of guy who'd normally have a lot of girls around him. But when a girl all of a sudden moves into your house? Yeah you've got a nice shot right there!

       In some way I started to find him attractive (I have a thing for longer hair, and strangely enough his hair had started to grow longer), I started to feel a physical attraction and I didn't know why. He's not even that good looking, why do you feel attracted to that boy? Let's just say, I still haven't figured that one out. Every single day I wanted to hang out with him more, my days started to lighten up and every day I had something nice to wake up to, and I had something to look forward to, I  mean.. Which teenager wouldn't want to live with their crush? But I was in denial. I wasn't allowed to date. My own inside battle began to affect him too of course. All the time I'd led him on and then the next day I'd pretend like nothing ever happened. I look back at my behavior with disdain, especially now when I realize I should've appreciated  those moments a lot more. 

       Eventually I started to fall in love myself. I let my feelings lose and I had some of the best times in my life. Funny, how a person who I'd not been attracted to at all and whom I'd found rather irritating became the main topic on my mind?

My main point is that it is in fact possible to get out of the friendzone, it might not be possible for every one, but it is indeed possible. You just have to be able to handle the outcome. 

I know not everyone is.