I should go rotten up in the deepest dungeon under the most disgusting castle and slowly getting eaten by rats.. They would tear me up, and I could look at them as they started to split up my kidney.. My lungs.. Lastly my heart..
Small gasping breaths as I'm not dead yet, but also far away from living.. Feeling the pain, every last bit.
My hands would dispute, they'd turn to find a way out of the ropes that held them together, but for no good. The more I rubbed them the deeper the robe would cut. All the way in to the flesh, bones starting to get visible.
They'd find me. Him first, he'd come in, disgusted by the smell of my rottening flesh. He'd pretend like he cared for a second, then he'd reveal his actual motive. He's start laughing at me, mock me.
He'd turn around.. Tell me he didn't care about me anymore.
Then people would join him..
Xxxxxx.. Xxxx.. Xxxx.. Xxxx..
All watching me as I would gasp my last breaths before my brain and body would finally give up in fixing everything.
I'd be gone for good.
I opened my eyes, only to find myself in a room full of dead bodies, five of them, each in a different state of either rotting or being eaten by the egregious rats eagerly trying to get the last pieces of meat off of the lifeless bodies. By the smell and light in the chamber I judget I was underground. No windows in sight, and the only source of light was a torch on the stone wall. Through an old musty wooden door a slight hint of salty water slipped in, ripping in my nostrils. A slight crack in the ceiling formed by rocks let a rhythm of drops fall down allowing the room to be filled with a constant echo. A disgusting place, only made worse by the smell of rotting flesh and filthy rats.
I became aware of my pain and as I looked at my legs the rats had already started to tear me up, I could only look at them helplessly while they would slowly split me up, eating my kidney, my liver, my lungs and lastly my heart. I was gasping for air. I wasn't dead yet, but still far away from living and all the way trough me I felt the pain. Every last bit. And I deserved all of it. My hands were disputing. I turned them around trying to find a way out of the ropes that stubbornly held them together, but for no good. The more I rubbed them the deeper the robe would cut. It had already cut all the way into my flesh and as I looked, my bones were starting to get visible.
They had found me. All of the people I had found the dearest; my friends, my family, all the relationships which I'd already ruined, with no possible way of turning back, they found me I my most vulnerable time.
He came in. Disgusted by the smell of my rotting flesh, but I knew I deserved his disgust. He pretended to care about me for a second, he told me how he still loved me and how everything would be okay again, I had hope. I got a feeling of health back in my stomach and the chamber started to light up for me. I could turn back to how it was before, I could erase the memories of the awful things which I'd done and start my life all over. I reached out for him in a moment of happiness, but then he revealed his true motive. He started laughing at me, he was patronizing me and mocking me in the most unpleasant way, I didn't even recognize him from how he used to be. He had changed too. With a slightly stubborn movement he started to turn around, he took his time and told me about how he didn't care about me anymore, explaining me what I already knew, that it was my own fault. Then the other people started joining him. They all told me the same thing and I could see the disappointment in their eyes as they looked down at me. They had believed in me, they used to listen to me, enjoy me. With a plug of indescribable pain I reached out for them, but as my bloody toe almost touched them, they all turned in to smoke, slowly slipping out through the door. They disappeared.
I couldn't stand the embarrassment. Slowly I tried to move my leg back and away from the rats, their long and sharp teeth cut deep for every bite, and all of it reminded me of the reason I was there. A stubborn rat held on tightly when my leg started to slip away and I saw the egregious sight of my own flesh being ripped off of my calf while a bone innocently looked out, showing a bloody mess. In pain, a gasp slipped through my lips.
I knew I deserved to be there. I knew it was all my own fault, that I could not turn back time and do it all over. No matter how badly I desired it. I took another look around the chamber, before I closed my eyes. I could still feel them all watching me. I could feel their eyes lying on me, waiting for me to be gone. Give up and let them all behind, they expected me to run. They all stared at me as I took my last gasps of air before my brain and body finally gave up on fixing everything.
I was gone for good.
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